We are in the 4th month of the year. That's 2 months away from hitting mid-year. I recently learned that time indeed seems to pass faster the older you get because of the things you've already experienced. It's really interesting and also really scary in a mind fuck kind of way. Not at all comforting.

It's my birth month and usually I celebrate my birthday all week. Since moving to Texas, I have not and it's making my soul itch, if you know what I mean. The older I get, the more I want to move back into my "you can't tell me how to live my life" era because since I fund my own life, I should be in control of my own life and my own time. It would only make sense.

I'm not here to even attempt to romanticize April, as much as I want to. Because let's be real -- April means rain and rain anywhere other than Florida is miserable. April means the bugs are suddenly more comfortable coming outside. April means Spring which means allergens are ready to wreck yo face. As pretty and as girly it is to romanticize April, I'm not going to bother this year. Hop on Pinterest if you're looking for that. Or Threads, it's all over the place.

Instead, I'm going to give myself the low spoonie goal + hope guide for my 41st year. And goodness, has it been a long one already.

        | celebrate your birthday your way

That means, fuck what anyone else has to say!! Do you boo, it's your day. Your week. YOUR MONTH. Be as loud as you use to be.

| declutter items not spaces

I read that decluttering items like clothes or shoes or like specific things like that instead of area's or rooms or drawers can be less overwhelming. And I kinda see how that's a thing.

| go back to eating more greens and adding more iron rich foods to your meals again

I hate that I lost sight of this. Depression does some weird shit but changing my diet was uncalled for lol. I'm usually really good about eating iron rich foods, whole foods, healthy fats, all that stuff. Texans don't believe in healthy eating and I don't know why I even let that get to me. Don't like it? Don't eat it. But leave me the fuck out of it. I know my body and I know what I stick to long before any of this, so step off, thanks.

| do what you can to create your cozy space

Walking into your room should feel like a deep breath. It should uplift your spirits every time you set foot. It should reflect who you are as far as fandoms, colors and scents. Do all the things you use to do to create your sanctuary of a room when you first moved out.

| figure out how to take 4k videos of Switch games

I really want to start making Pokopia and Mario videos but also Animal Crossing. I low key miss playing that but every time I get on I want to redo my entire island. But there are so many Pokopia videos I want to make! The base Switch capture isn't that great, which is sad since we're on the Switch2 now. Like? When did the image quality go down? I do stream and play on pc with my capture card that has a 4k setting. I'd just... have to figure out how to use it lol.

I'm also debating on installing Streamlabs on my MacBook Neo, but like... would that be a bit much?? It's not like I game heavy on it or anything. Or even at all. The games I usually play on my phone or iPad aren't optimized for the MacBook, does it stop me from trying? No. Is Steam installed on my MacBook? Yes.

| gentle self discipline

Do one thing for future you. Rebuild without guilt -- no matter how long it may take or how slow you may move. 

Slow movement is better than no movement - Kai Cenat

The two can co-exist, why not? Rebuilding does seem scary, especially after everything that's happened but you were this sort of person before any of this happened, before anything. You even majored and graduated in social media, like, come on. Stop it! You're good at what you do, you need to stop acting otherwise.

It's your birth month and if you don't celebrate big for you then who will? We know this already, again stop acting like you don't know. Be you. The loud, unhinged, unapologetic you.

How is it already Winter?! Wasn't it just Fall?! Time passes so much more faster as an adult and the fact that this is literally a fact blows my mind. How unfair. Wish someone had told me this was another side effect of adult hood lol.

Texas weather is crazy; we've gone from 30's and next week we're going back up to 80's. Clearly Texas doesn't play by seasonal themes. At all. Which wouldn't be so wild if it at least didn't make it Winter and Summer in one week.

I attempted to do holiday photos yesterday and it went... not as I expected what so ever. But at least I attempted, I guess? It's super difficult with kids who like to randomly just run off for any given reason. Like, this is why parents have those leash bags. Crazy kids. 

drink hot cocoa

see holiday lights

go ice skating

bake holiday cookies

refresh my gaming set up 

make one cocktail drink 

re-evaluate my shops & businesses for 2026

do a deep in my soul purge of non joyful things

It's now mid December and this post is late. December is always a crazy month for content creators, I've always had trouble juggling blogmas, vlogmas, reading, reviewing and trying new eats. Add in being a parent to very active kiddos and running several businesses... yeah it can be a lot lol. But I love what I do, which is why I've been doing it for over 20 years now, happily.

November wasn't as cozy as it could had been, but it was full of things that caught me by surprise and brought joys through out the month.

I also treated myself to a Switch 2 even though I said I wouldn't until the update for Animal Crossing comes out in January but the chance came up to grab one so I did, I deserve it! Working on your shit pays off, and the ability to get myself these two upgrades makes me feel so much more accomplished lol. 

It's been a productive month of blind boxes.

I found some Sanrio ones I was searching for in Plano and had to get them all. Or rather, two or three of each. The Tamagotchi Sanrio one on the top right I had to buy another 3 of because my kiddos stole my other haul of them. These are so cute they light up and they make really cute bag charms. I definitely need to get more! The Pochacco on the bottom right had to be straight up hidden because they would fight over him. So he's hiding on my bookshelf in my room right now lol. I haven't opened the others yet, I'm debating if I want to do unboxing blind box reels.

I blame working at Disney World and at D-Street when blind box Vinylmations was a huge thing. Ah, I miss those days and I miss working there. It was so much fun!

I do love my girls share the excitement and love of blind boxes and aren't sore losers about getting doubles. I just wish they wouldn't lose them lol! 

November was full of Wicked stuff naturally.

Ironically my 6yo was the one who was trying to convince me to go watch it. Act II isn't my favorite. I only like the first part with No Good Deed but everything else having to do with The Wizard I could care less for. Oh, and I want to see the slap happen.

It did hit a point where I was like how much Wicked stuff is TOO MUCH Wicked stuff? The 6yo picked up Wicked bath bombs and all the Glinda bubble bar from LUSH since it doubles as a bubble wand which is pretty cool. I picked up the skincare stuff which smells amazing. I hate how most of these collections at LUSH are super limited edition. I still have the Elphaba glitter broom bath bomb from the collection last year sitting on my shelf and I refuse to use it.

Compartes would do a Wicked collab. They even have an advent calendar on their website. I found these chocolate bars at World Market. There were several others but these were the flavors I was most drawn to. I'll probably put up reviews or a taste test reel up on my foodie blog. 

I haven't had an urge to get on social media all year and tbh, my nervous system has been just a bit more settled since. As someone who's been on social media and doing social media since 1999 and been on Instagram since it was iOS only in 2011, I am burnt out ya'll lol. I love sharing photos and things but on Instagram isn't it anymore for me. Plus with the rise of them just randomly deleting accounts? Yeah, nah. I'm not putting all that time and energy into something I can't control anymore. I've debated on going old school and getting back on Flickr lol. There's Behance but it's only for those with an Adobe Creative Cloud membership -- which isn't such a bad idea at this point. I have always hated the idea of TikTok, I don't know why. Maybe because I'm a Vine-er forever and TikTok is just a bootleg version of Vine lol.

I did find that studies show that being on TikTok does throw your nervous system, if I find the article again I'll come back and link it here.

 Like I mentioned, my gaming pc can now run Infinity Nikki.

I have so many thoughts about this game. I mean, it's a gatcha game so I mean, what could go wrong? My bank account says a lot lol. The fact you have to gatcha 2-3 of each outfit in order to upgrade it is nuts but so so addicting. And tbh I've been overly obsessed with gatcha games since the days of Neopets and GoGaia. Which weren't even games exactly, they were just websites that took your money lmao!

This game is beautiful and the game play itself is wonderfully done. There's SO much to do for a game that is focused on fashion quests and style off's. It's perfect for people like me who love to gather, craft and hunt for resources. The downside is that you cap your insights daily and they're time gated. So something takes weeks to get sometimes. Patience isn't my thing lmao. 

I enjoyed the whole story line with Giovanni and completing the Itzland quests. That whole section was really heartwarming. 

 I still have my eyes on this Oregon Trail ornament because how freakin cute?! If you were a 90's kid and played this on those pc's that only operated in black and green, you know how this tugs at your memories lol! I played it for awhile on my Switch and as an adult, it's much more stressful lmao. But hey, no one's died yet.

Speaking of Switch, I'm so against buying Switch 2 games. I mean $70 a game? In this economy? Ya'll are trippin. I'm thankful that most Switch games come with a free Switch 2 upgrade. I was recently gifted Paper Mario and I'm so excited to play this one! I've wanted it since it was released. 

My 6yo has the same habit as her dad when gaming: she looks at me in game when she's talking to me. I don't remember what we were talking about other than her demanding I get in the car in Roblox. Our Roblox game play is so random and chaotic lol. However she always comes up with the cutest looks and outfits.

November was of course spent decorating for Christmas! This year I went full on glitter. Nutcrackers are a thing I collect and this gold glitter one from Target has been one of my favorite new decor item's I've picked up this year.

Picked up a few of my favorite holiday snacks: I do miss when the Linzer Raspberry cookies had powered sugar on top of them, wonder why they stopped doing that. The Holiday Cookie Collection has been one of my favs since I was a kid but it was the asian market version. Same thing lol! The cookie sprinkled with coconut shavings is my favvvvv... so good.

I introduced the girls to the Terry's chocolate orange and I regret it lmao. In the month of Nov I bought maybe 4 of these because they kept jacking mine and eating it all. Ugh lol. My dad introduced these to me as a kid. I thought the concept of smacking it was so funny and now my kids do the same. 

Overall, November gave me a lot to be thankful for -- even if I didn't get to take my annual Disney World trip this year. I was surrounded by other little joys and things that helped calmed my nervous system as well as things I really needed to upgrade for the sake of my businesses so I can't really complain.

I'm lucky to be able to have and do the things I do, annually my kids take Disney World trips twice a year and that's way more than I got to take at their age, so I'm truly thankful to be able to gift my kids with those memories and experiences as they grow. 

Now to work our way through December and all the challenges that come with the holidays, time management and everything else.

I hope you all are staying warm and cozy this season! 

There are a number of things that I look forward to when all the Fall & Halloween collections start rolling out and Lush is one of them.

Over the years the collection has had some slight variations but the pumpkin crumble bubble bars and the ghostie bath bombs come back. 

This year they had a hollow pumpkin bath bomb that doubles as a tea light holder! I'm not sure how exactly that's suppose to work but you're suppose to put a tea light IN the pumpkin and after the tea light goes out you put the pumpkin in the bath...?

Don't worry, it's not an aff link, but ya'll need to see this.

 I don't know, I didn't grab one but I'm seeing this has become a trend of theirs in 2025, for sure. Weeiiirrrd concept. Since I no longer have a bathtub in my bathroom, I couldn't enjoy any of the bath bombs this time around, or the bubble bars, though I could had made the bubble bars work if I wanted to. Maybe treat the bath bombs like shower bombs? That seems like a bit of a reach though and it may dye my shower.

I did pick up a Pumpkin Spice Latte body wash (it has glitter) and a Snow Fairy body lotion because come on, once Snow Fairy hits shelves, I HAVE to pick it up. It's a must. I still miss the Snowcake soap they use to have, I can't believe they got rid of it.

Lush during Fall is one of the best things to see. All the pops of oranges and black. The vibe in there being extra cozy and all the delicious smelling soaps on display. It's definitely one of my favorite times of the year when walking into a Lush!

What are some things you typically pick up from Lush during this time of the year, or want to pick up? 

It's finally Fall.

Though here in Texas, you wouldn't be able to tell. I tend to dwell in states that don't exactly have a Fall, in Fall. But it's okay, because as long as I know in spirit that it's Fall, I'll be good.

I was looking back  at my previous Fall Bucket Lists through out the years and it's kind of cool to see what I had planned in the years before. Wish I had one for every previous year, but I can also see why I didn't. Regardless, looking back at all your previous favorite things is kinda cool.

This year the list is going to be a bit simple, ending up sick the in ER early in October really pressed me for time for the things I wanted to do, but it's fine. Technically Fall is still a thing in November. 

1. Drink a Pumpkin Spice Latte

I refuse to drink the Starbucks in stores one because I'm still mad they ruined my favorite drink a few years ago by changing the recipe. I did try the one at Krispy Kreme recently and liked it. I've also been making my own at home every morning while I make Winnie her pancakes. It's a nice little routine to myself that I've been looking forward to at 6am. 

2. Bake something + make cozy soup

Tums has been asking to bake something with me and as a former pastry chef, I feel like I should. I haven't actually baked anything in forever and it's sad to see how much time has passed since, but I'm excited to share something I loved as a kid with her.

I also want to make my cozy soup -- well not mine, but one my mom made a lot when I was growing up on rainy days. It's one of my more simple ultimate comfort foods and one of the few things my mom makes that I know how to make, I owe it to myself and my inner child to make it more often this cozy season.

3. Go to a Pumpkin Patch

An actual like the ones you'd go to as a field trip in elementary school. I mean we have pumpkin patches here, but I want to go to like a field full of pumpkins just to see the excitement on Winnie's face. She loves pumpkins. I can't come up with any good OOTD outfits for this Fall, I remember when I had a ton of outfits. I wonder where half of them are. Cause I haven't seen anything I like in stores in the last few years.

Aerie use to be my go to, but even they haven't had anything good lately. Their sweats and lounge wear though? Still top notch.

4. Find crunchy leaves

Okay, this one is going to be harder to do I think. It's a bit harder to find crunchy leaves out here in actual Fall. It's a bit easier to find them in Jan and Feb, but I love taking crunchy leaves photos!  I mean, honestly, who doesn't.

5. Read a cozy Fall book

I haven't made my annual Oct TBR post yet, but I've started reading a few titles. Right now I'm sucked into Wayward by Emilia Hart and The Girl with No Reflection by Keshe Chow. As much as I love multiple time lines in books, I hate when I have one character I'd rather know more about and find myself skimming the other pov's just to get back to the one I really want to know about.

TGWNR starts off questionable and a bit creepy. But it's so gripping that I just need to know what the fuckin hell is going on. I don't know why it took me so long to pick this one up -- probably because I forgot I bought it. Books tend to just get buried in my Kindle library.

I still need to finish House of Salt & Sorrow, I was creeped out by the younger sister drawing that disturbing picture but man, it was getting so good. Reading creepy books is the best in the Fall when the days are shorter and I swear the nights are darker.

What are some things this season you want to do or see? I'd love to know in the comments below! 

Being 40 marks the 10 year anniversary of this blog; since then it's gained over 8k views a month even without me posting as regularly as I use to. You guys really search for Bath & Body Works candle reviews and that's great. I love that. I didn't expect that to happen when I started this blog.

Whoever said 40 is the new 20 was a damn liar. 

In terms of understanding yourself, those around you and being more self aware -- those things happen as you age, at least you can hope it happens for some people though I know a lot of people personally who aren't and it's a bit worrying. 

• Everything health wise puts you in the severe category, it's fun. Your health status reminds you that your body is actively planning your downfall 
• Your energy levels are non existent. Or maybe it's just me and my soul, will report back on that later
• You approach preimenopause and it. is. hell. here. literally, the hot flashes and night sweats make you feel like you just came back from hell everyyyy morning
• The brain fog... ooh girllllllll THE BRAIN FOG makes me feel like I'm meeting myself all over again like this is some kind of fucked up 50 First Dates shit. Okay, maybe that's a bit dramatic, but it's pretty annoyingly shitty
• Leaving the house when it's over 85* outside in Texas, is a helllllllllllllllll no because I'm already getting hot flashes so why the fuck would I go out in that
• Your patience is non existent. You freely pop off at people because who cares, people will talk about you anyway so you might as well make it worth it that and like, people really just need to be told to stfu I guess otherwise they won't
• Face sun spots. I see them, everywhere. I use to see them on my dad, ask what was that. Why was his skin like that (he said it was because he popped his pimples also when he was younger), my pores are like, growing and if I hated them in my 20's, I HAAAAAAAATE them now but I see my dad's skin when I look at my own and it's such a bittersweet thing
• Your paranoia is in fuckin overdrive. And it's ridic what it comes up with. I use to do exactly what it told me not to do just to shut it up (in case you were wondering how I ended up working for Disney or you know, jumping states so freely), and I guess I could still do that but maybe it's all other things considered -- health wise -- that I'm not ready to just jump on a plane and tell my brain to fuck itself
• You don't digest food like you use to... and it gets worse the older you get. It's so fun. Eating something that you USUALLY eat and like, either get bubble fuckin guts or you break out in hives. It's a toss up how your safe food will fuck you up as you age

You also get hit with this insane kind of self awareness. Self awareness of the roots and causes of your trauma and how it's probably caused your physical ills. It's a very uncomfortable thing to realize, makes you feel helpless how to help yourself. And sad for not knowing or figuring it out sooner. But I guess it's better than going your whole life unaware and not being able to "fix" it.  

Maybe.

I haven't really figured out the solution, I know I will, it's just going to take some time.