It’s crazy to think we’re almost at the end of the year. Or that the last time I blogged was in June. Things have been crazy the last few months — but in a really good way!

Over the years I’ve attempted many shop and business ideas; some that I still miss and hope to incorporate into the business I decided to start this year.

And over the years this blog has seen me change and grow and deal with some pretty hard and tough things. And I really hope to continue to document my journey for a long time here.

In 2015 I wanted to start a candle Etsy business. I had set up all the social media for it but I was in a place where the person I was around didn’t exactly encourage my dream of opening a shop — stating that it would be “a waste of money” (wish I could tell him how successful my current shop is now). So I tucked that dream away until pretty much April of 2021.

May was a pretty hard month; or well there was a week in it that was particularly... hard. In life people suffer loss, it's just one of those things and no matter how much we prepare ourselves or how much we think we'll be fine, we usually aren't. At least not for awhile. Ever since COVID the weeks and months just start to blur together and it gets hard to remember what I did in which month. Esp since I don't get out as much as I use to and so I don't take as many pictures as I use to either.

The week of Mother's Day Bubba was feeling worse than he had earlier so he took himself to the ER where he did test positive for COVID. He had been coughing for about a week and it was starting to get pretty bad. I had headaches (thankfully not migraines, ironically), body aches, dizziness and a low grade fever for about 2-3 days. Then I just didn't. I never had a full blown fever or coughing and congestion, at all. I retained my sense of smell and taste up until maybe the end of the week for about 2 days. Bubba had medicine and an inhaler to take. I just kept popping Emergen-C gummies and staying on top of my Vit C and trying to stay hydrated by drinking something other than soda all day. 

On Thursday that same week, my cat I adopted as a 30th birthday/post divorce gift in 2015 was having a rough day. She was diagnosed with kidney failure 5 years ago and since moving to TX she's just gotten progressively worse in various areas of her health. She started getting annual ear infections. That moved on to masses growing in her ears and eventually in her eye. She stopped bathing herself. And that's when things started to get bad really fast. The last week she hadn't been eating her medicated food but would eat human food; which she never really cared too much for anything besides cheese, whipped cream, vanilla ice cream and Cheetos. And yet the only thing she would fight you for was the cheese. Everything else, if you offered she would take. But beyond those human foods, she didn't care for anything else. She had also started crying day and night and no matter what we did to help, it just wouldn't stop.

The last time we brought her to the vet they found a mass growing behind one of her eyes, because of her age and her health they told us that they probably would decide against putting her under and taking care of the masses because it would probably hurt her more than help. We were also advised to consider not giving her rabies shots after a point, esp since she was a single indoor only cat.

So on this particular day, I noticed she seemed unable to move. Almost like she couldn't move her arms and legs. She sort of just laid there, like a pancake and hard a hard time breathing. I spent as much time as I could with her petting her and talking to her. Telling her it's okay and she did so good being the most amazing companion a person could ask for. I eventually had to go to bed because I was still recovering from COVID. 

By the time Bubba had gotten up Friday morning, she was gone.

In one week I had COVID and lost my best companion. I still don't really feel like talking to anyone about anything in particular. I'm at least feeling up to writing/blogging again but other than that... I'm just finding it to be too much energy to talk about anything. The house is a lot more quiet and feels a lot more empty without her here. Like something is definitely missing. I haven't lived anywhere in 6 years without her, and while I knew it was going to be hard, I still feel totally unprepared. It took me two weeks to really cry about it and now I just randomly burst into tears; it's like it just opened a whole gate of emotions.

Bub caught me crying one night and I woke up to these flowers and a sweet note from him and Tums.

I posted a 6 things I learned at 36 blog post on my mental health blog so I won't recap that here. But I will talk about being 36.

I always thought that I'd have my life pretty much figured out at 25. I had all these goals and plans and I was so set on achieving them and worked really really hard. But they just didn't happen. And that's when I realized that just because you plan for something and want something doesn't ALWAYS mean you'll get it. To trust the universe when it tells you this isn't your path. Because it usually leads to bigger and better things.

My life didn't actually start until I was 30. I did achieve my ultimate dream of working for Disney at 26 but beyond that, most of my LIFE LIFE didn't start until I was 30 and able to be by myself.

I got to spend my 36th birthday at my favorite place: Disney World. It's also the 10 year anniversary since my first Disney College Program. My BFF flew from CA to FL just to spend the weekend with us and finally meet her goddaughter and I got to spend the whole weekend laughing so hard I damn near almost lost my voice. It had been 13 years since I last saw her, it was so good to see her again.

I got to see a few of my favorite Floridians and I'm so thankful I was able to. I miss everyone so much. I miss the Disney life. I miss Florida and the humidity. I miss feeling like I belong and I'm welcomed somewhere. I say this all the time -- TX isn't my home and probably will never be viewed as "home". There's too much negativity and too little here that stimulates me. I'm never bored, ever. But TX is boring and that's pretty... sad.

I'm inching closer to 40 so I need to get my goals locked in.

In my 36th year I hope to;

Join my launch party, look around, grab a drink and kick back!

Have you tried Scentsy? What's one of your favorite scents? 

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Trader Joe's comes out with the most interesting products, though it feels like it's mostly in the summer or the Holiday season.

This spring they came out with Mood Odyssey Aromatherapy set. 

I was drawn to the pretty purple box as well as the types of scents that it contained. 

The set comes with 4 oils. Each 0.33 FL OZ but it feels like there's way more than that, like this set could last a whole year even if you used it every day.

With 4 different scents, they've pretty much got you covered.

Unfortunately there isn't a list of scent notes to refer to, but there is an ingredients list on the back. And yes, they have their scientific name as well as their normal name (Thanks Trader Joe's! Always looking out). 

I've so far used Awake, Bliss and Relax.

I've used several different types of lavender oils but there's something happy about this kind. I don't know how to explain it but I love using these for pretty much everything.

Awake has a scent like nothing I've used before. While there is your typical citrus based scents, there's also something else that really gives it a kick!

Bliss is such a happy scent, I don't really know how else to describe it. It def puts me in a better mood, I wish these came in like room sprays or something because that would def help my anxious ass out.

Relax has notes of lavender in it for sure. And while it's still lavender it's also not. The lavender in this smells like a field of flowers that you're just running in! It's not that core strong lavender scent that most other products have (nothing wrong with that, just saying this one is a little more softer) but it still packs a serious relax yo ass punch!

These rollerballs are great and like I said -- I use them pretty frequently. I'm hoping that TJ's might come out with more blends in the future!

The scent notes include:

Steamed Milk Latte, Toasted Coconut Shavings, Mini Marshmallows

 Oh wow, it's March already?

Anyone else feel like Feb was both the longest and shortest month? It's kinda weird. A lot happened in Feb which is probably what made it feel so long for me. Thankfully we're one step closer to summer. After that weird random snow storm here in Texas I'm MORE than ready for hot humid weather. Or well, as humid as Texas can get, I guess.

The next couple months are going to (hopefully) be exciting (if nothing gets prematurely cancelled). And I really really need a break from chores, life and the mundane.

I'm also convinced that Texas pissed off someone somewhere because all this bad juju coming to TX is not it. First the snow storm, then people losing power FOR DAYS and clean water. Then now this; them lifting the mandatory mask and now allowing businesses to operate at 100%. Like really? Some people are still trying to recover from the dang snow storm but sure, I guess this is more important. What makes it worse is that TX barely took it seriously to begin with. The amount of Texans I know who GOT covid is unreal. Seriously.

AINT SHIT TO DO OUT HERE, STAY HOME. Dang.

Lemme get into my goals before I go on a full blown rant lol;