2020 has definitely been a year of slow living and for most of us reflecting. It's definitely put a lot of things in my life in perspective. The things I've been doing to myself that were toxic and the things I've held on to that have also been toxic for me and my well being.

It's never really easy to admit that something you're close to is not good for you and it's hard to come to the terms to let those things you're so use to go. But while I'm letting things go and leaving them in 2020 I can hope that that means I'm making room for better more beneficial things in 2021.

On with the show;

When I was 16 I went through my first major break up and at the time it was devastating as I guess every first break up is; but my ass took it way too hard. I stopped going to school. I was too depressed to do anything, even get out of bed. I just couldn't understand why I wasn't enough (so glad I got over this set back in my 30's). And after we broke up my ex gave me the coldest shoulder. I mean, ok, I was a little psycho back then with no remorse but still! This dude hurt me. It's been almost 20 years and he still won't talk to me lmao!

During that time I did my first self reflection. Learned about rebuilding myself and knowing myself better. I rented a ton of movies that I still watch every winter. I got more serious about blogging every single day... literally. Back when Xanga and LiveJournal ruled the blogging world. I learned to love myself regardless of what he or anyone else thought about me.

So this time of year reminds me of the sadness I endured but also the obsession with rebuilding and getting to know myself.

Movies

| Serendipity

It also made me super obsessed with trying Serendipity (a very real place in NYC). My mom actually went and tried it FOR me, brought me back some Hot Chocolate mixes and a cookbook! In 2009 when I got married in Vegas I finally got to try it and OMG their Frozen Hot Chocolate? AMAZING. I love it. I'm sad to hear they closed down the Vegas location. I went every year for my birthday after that!

| Bring it On

I mean, I don't think I need to say much about why I love Bring it On. But this is definitely one of my favorite parts lmao. I still think they shoulda beat they asses!

| Next Friday

Well, here go my ghetto showing. My brother got tired of hearing me watch sappy rom-com's so he made me sit down and watch Next Friday. I can't remember if we were high at the time or not but I do remember I could NOT stop laughing. Even when I watch it now (also 19 years later) I still crack up at the same parts.

DaeDae and Baby D always got me rolling. How he talks about how she got them bootleg snacks. My cousin use to throw that scene at me every time I got excited about snacks lmao.

Reads

These have nothing to do with being 16 or my first breakup lol. I was a serious book buchlogger in 2009 up until I did my Disney College Program in 2011. Working 16hrs a day gave me no time to read. Let alone sleep. But in those years I found a lot of favorites.

I miss my book blogging days because I'd come across so many awesome reads. I miss the feeling of falling in love with a book. There's only one book I try to read every year (which has now become a Netflix original)! The rest are books I'm hoping to get to this December!

| Dash and Lily's Book of Dares by Rachel Cohn & David Levithan

I honestly had ZERO idea what I was getting into when I picked this one up. I don't think I got this for review, but I did get the second one for review.

I fell in love with both Dash and Lily; mostly Lily. I loved the idea of "meeting someone" in a book store. And the secrecy of who they were was really cute. I haven't watched the show yet but I plan to, hopefully BEFORE Christmas.

ON MY TBR

| In a Holidaze by Christina Lauren

I read Hazel & Josh's Guide to Not Dating a year or two ago? And absolutely loved it! I admit I haven't picked up any of this author's reads since then but there was no way I was going to pass this one up! It's currently what I'm reading/listening to on audiobook. Thanks Scribd!

| The Twelve Days of Dash and Lily by Rachel Cohn & David Levithan

I haven't finished reading this series, I'm not really sure why besides the last few years have been really bad in terms of reading. I'm trying my best to do a better job of playing catch up but Dec has made it a bit difficult.

| A Wild Winter Swan by Gregory Maguire

I have this unrealistic expectation of Gregory Maguire books; I know I'll love them, but this is like, the highest fantasy I've ever read and I tend to get confused or you know, the book is just so damn thick it's intimidating. I'm doing this one on audio (yes thanks to Scribd) as well and the first chapter was in a whole different language??

| Love Your Life by Sophie Kinsella

I'm not even going to express my love for Sophie's work. I wasn't a big fan of Confessions of a Shopaholic which is weird since I love me some good retail therapy but I did fall in love with I've Got Your Number. 

Winter is my favorite time of year to just stay in bed and bundle up watching movies or reading books. I wish I had a reading chair, maybe that's something I'll look into for 2021!

2020 hasn't been the jam for most people; I guess this is our version of The Great Depression. I've been away from home since 2013. That's the last Christmas I spent with my family and the last time I saw my dad. I was really hoping to go home for the holidays this year, be around family. Because in the light of losing my dad I realize just how important your own family and support system is. My friends and my cousins have always without judgement or question had my back since day 1. And I'm so lucky to know some of these friends for 30-something years. Nothing compares to them, that, or our bond. 

And with people trying to step in claiming they're my support system when they don't or don't even care to get to know me; it's really put a lot of things in perspective. But toxic narcs will always be toxic narcs and that's fine. I'm 100% fine sitting here with my girls, my snacks and my movies.

What are some of your favorite movies or reads for winter?

This year I decided to step outside of my “comfort zone” and get your typical green tree. As much as I wanted a white tree I couldn't find one that was at least 6" and affordable at the time we were looking for one. We got rid of our last one when we moved (no elevator here at the new place so a lot had to go).

This year's color theme was navy blue and bronze/burlap. I was heavy debating on navy blue and ice blue but most of the ice blue ornaments I found weren't icy enough. The only problem with this is that at night the navy blue ornaments kind of blend into the tree. But during the day it doesn't. Still, the tree itself came out really pretty. I really like how my husband uses ribbon, I suck at placing garland so the fact he uses ribbon gives it something extra without looking like a hot mess. Maybe next year I'll go around fairy-fy the tree lights.

I won't say that the tree is complete since it's missing some of my traditional ornaments; but also that I have no idea where they are. I know I have some in some of my vanity bins but I'll have to find them through the week so I can put them up before Christmas!

We usually pick a few special ornaments that match the theme of our tree, those we always keep. Here's a few from this year's theme.

Anyone else secretly (or not so secretly) glad that 2020 is almost finally over? It's getting colder here in Texas and it's really cold. I'm not too much of a fan of winter or cold winter at all. It messes with my eczema and it hurts, literally. The pandemic is starting to weigh on my subconscious and it’s making me easily irritated.

Cold winters + being stuck in Texas is not making me a happy person. I’m in desperate need of change and several vacations.

READ

I finished reading YOU and Crenshaw. I also read a bunch of picture books with/to Tums since she's becoming more aware/curious about reading and books. Audiobooks have been a really nice thing now that I'm a busy mama, except when I get too sucked in and I get mad if ANYONE in the house makes ANY kind of noise lol. 

I'm trying to work my way through my NetGalley TBR as well as my Dec TBR, so, this is gonna be... interesting.

WATCHED

| You on Netflix

Started watching YOU on Netflix since my cousin wouldn't stop bugging me to. The show is a bit different than the book and I'm mad the Peach they casted is super cute cause I hated her in the book!

| Emily in Paris on Netflix

This is one a lot of people are talking about and I love all things Parisian! Plus a good friend I just reconnected with was also binge watching it. So far it's cute, in a she's so fuckin American kind of way. Emily gets on my nerves and so does Sylvie. The office guys are probably the best thing about the show oh and Mindy. I freakin love Mindy.

| Love Life on HBO Max

Kindaaaa the reason that really pushed me to get HBO Max (and FRIENDS, come on!). I'm like 2 or 3 episodes in and it's so... weird. It's basically like every episode is a "chapter" of a relationship. The concept is interesting, but where the heck do all these people find these huge lofts in NYC? Seriously?

| Great Greek Myths: The Illid on Amazon Prime

I love Greek Mythology and I was totally sucked into the first season of this series so of course I had to start the second season... esp since it dealt a bit with Troy. I'm always disappointed to realize that Athena or Aphrodite were behind some of the things I hated. And it had very little to actually do with Paris himself. However, I am still going to blame him cause wtf Paris? Seriously?

DID

| Digital Coloring Books

I discovered DIGITAL COLORING BOOKS. And I've been having way too much fun with them. They're not AS fun as physical books but playing with texture and easy shading is fun. It has its pros and cons; but I love seeing what other people come up with. I'm convinced everyone on this app knows how to draw and it makes me want to learn even more.

| Procreate

I recently got an iPad to learn how to draw. I know, so extreme right? I ended up getting the iPad Air which in my opinion is super big for my small hands. I wish there was something between an Air and a Mini. 

| Christmas Shopping

I FINISHED MY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING. EARLY. For the first time ever. Super exciting. Now I just have to ship it. But at least it's all done!

We also got our Christmas tree and I opted for your basic green instead of my usual white. But I did get a mini pink tree for the bedroom! It's super cute.

I also got everyone (including the cat) an advent calendar this year. I got myself a popcorn one I saw that Paige had last year, Tums a Disney book collection on from Aldi -- I saw it on Amazon for $30 but it was at Aldi for $10 so, Bubba got a Funko DBZ one and Sophie got the kitty one from Trader Joe's.

| Other

I also got my Amazon Vine back; I got to review 2 sets of Animal Crossing Amiibo cards so I finally got most of my dream villagers!

Bubba made me a lot of Mickey strawberry pancakes and omg I could really go for one right now!

| Shopping

Sometimes I really hate posting unedited photos, but I uploaded these at like 3AM for future me lol. So, thanks past me.

VIP MAC members got SUPER early access to their holiday collection this year which was nice! Wish they'd do this every year. I picked up a few things but they didn't have their usual pigment set for the holidays and the mini lippies weren't really shades I'd wear. I did get an eyeshadow since it's been awhile since they've released a red one! And I also got a lip stick in my usual dark purple type of shade. It's not as dark as I had hoped it would be though and the formula isn't matte so I can't really build it up like I'd like.

Anthropologie joined the Afterpay fam and so I made a small haul with them. Even with Afterpay some of their shit is STILL expensive! I got a set of cute soap bars. I'm a fan of fancy soap bars. I'm just sad that there are 2 I want that aren't part of this collection but I thought this was a better deal. PLUS they're made in France! And I got this lip balm from Winky Lux that has been on my wish list FOREVER for no reason at all other than it's glittery. The shade changes color as you wear it. I didn't really believe that until I swatched it on my hand and an hour later it was this bright pink color. 

I'm a sucker for any lip balm honestly. And if you've been here awhile you know I haul lip balm during the holidays like crazy. I'm esp a sucker for cotton candy and sugar cookie lip balms. Softlips has discontinued my favorite sugar cookie one by them years ago. It was my Winter go to for sooo long. I'm still bummed about it and no other can compare but yet I still search! There's a few new interesting flavors that came out this year, so I'm pretty excited about that!

Made my holiday scents order with Zeep Bath. I love their wax melts! Plus they last for such a long time and the throw is perfect. 

| Thanksgiving

I have always been obsessed with books, reading, researching and dreaming of far away places. I remember in Kindergarten I was the first person to read all of the 4 books we had lined up for the month. I started writing stories when I was 7 about princesses with sisters that lived in big castles.

I stopped reading in high school because it made me look "nerdy" and I was on my hardcore thug bullshit back then. Growing up in The Bay was rough lol. I didn't get back into reading until my ex husband left for the military in 2009; then the world of Young Adult sucked me in.

But before there was Young Adult there were a number of books that changed my life; helped shaped the way I thought about myself, the world or others. Or just helped enlightened me. And if there's anything I'm still a sucker for it's the things that change the way we think.

So here's 5 books that helped shape me;