I can't believe the month is already over! June went by so fast! a lot has been going on around here but not all of it deserves a place on my blog. June wasn't a big month for favs sadly… I've been battling depression the last few months and I think I'm finally in a much better head space now than I was back in April and May. Staying close to people who make you tel like you're not hard to love can really help the healing process. I'm not healed just yet, but I'm closer than I was.
If you have not noticed, I got rid of my IG for awhile and honestly, it’s been such a huge help with healing. Even if I finally did get invited to get paid per reel — my head wasn’t in it to worry about making reels. And that is fine. Tbh I hate making reels. I’d rather do something I actually enjoy than force myself to make content I’ll just dread. That never works out good for me… spiritually at least.
It’s also moving season for me again, after skipping it for 2 years lol. But with the girls getting bigger — they definitely need a bigger space. Also I’m sick of toys literally everywhere. Just why?!
Well, I guess I lied.
I had a bit more favs in June than I thought I did...
I thankfully got to celebrate my birthday like I usually do this year -- at Disney World. It's been a tradition to celebrate my birthday at Disneyland since I was 22. Then on my 25th birthday I started celebrating it at Disney World. I missed it the last 2 years because of... reasons. But now that that reason isn't around anymore, I'm free to celebrating my birthday the way I want.
It felt so good to go home after 2 years of being away. I miss my life in Florida all the time. I miss the weather. I miss my friends. I miss the ability to go to Disney when I want. I miss the little lizards you have to dodge in the Spring when their eggs hatch. I miss the weird Florida wildlife that always confused and surprised me. My life was always busy and exciting when I was in Florida. And it's just the one place I'm ever really truly happy.
Being there with both my girls? Even better. I had the best time. Tums is tall enough to ride things and she sure did spend a lot of the time riding everything she could with her dad. Then taking me on the rides and saying "it's okay mama, don't be scared, I'm here. Here, hold my hand if you get scared." she is literally the best little person in my life.
We were on Test Track (the first time I ever got on it, finally) and during the speed test Tums screams out "OH FUCK" then she screams out "mama don't tell daddy I said thattttt" lol.
Winnie's first flight went amazingly well. She slept the majority of the flight and was so calm. Tums however, would not let anyone sleep. I was getting so mad. Especially since we had to get up at 3 and ended up still missing out flight. Lesson learned, NO MORE 6am FLIGHTS lmao. I'm not going to go into how many times we've delayed ourselves.
Usually if it's just me and Bubba we hit the parks as soon as we get there but since we had the girls, we took day 1 as Disney Springs day. I made a reservation at T-Rex cause I knew Tums would love it. It's the same idea as The Rainforest Cafe but with Dino's. She absolutely loved it and thought the Meteor Shower was so cool. I'm glad. I was a little worried she'd get scared. But she loved pointing out all the baby Dino's with their mama's. We got seated in the Ice Cave. I've only eaten in this area one other time but it's probably my favorite.
If I don't take a pic of the Disney Springs lake, am I really at Disney Springs?! This sight is much more gorg at night. It felt so fuckin good to be home. To stand on this bridge and to see the things that make my soul feel so much lighter and clear. And to run around Disney Springs is always a good time. I miss it so much already.
The next day we had a reservation at Ohana for breakfast; Tums has been into Stitch lately and I thought it would be the perfect chance for her to meet him. There are several other places you can, but I figured this would be the best way. She snatched all the Mickey waffles first of all. And didn't want to take pics with anyone but Pluto lol. I had Winnie dressed as Lilo and Stitch was playing peek a boo with her. It was the cutest thing ever.
As far as the meal, because Winnie is allergic to eggs we had to mention vegan options. They were so amazing with bringing her her own breakfast all you can eat plate with vegan options. They made the whole thing so easy and hassle free. I plan to write about this on my Disney food blog I'm launching later this month.
We also might had ate all of the vegan version of breakfast. The vegan eggs were mf amazing. I loved them. We might had also fought over the vegan cinnamon doughnut they gave her instead of the pineapple coconut bread they usually start you off with.
Pro tip Winns: If you say "nah I'm good" please believe the rest of us will not hesitate to take it off your hands. SO BE SURE YOU'RE GOOD before you say you are lol.
Goose Creek is one of my favorite lesser-known candle companies. They release collections every season and do collabs with things like Strawberry Shortcake and Candy Land. Granted they're online only so doing a sniff test to some of these is not a thing. Their prices are affordable, and the burn quality is smooth. The scent throw is definitely there to throw. Both their candles and wax melts are definitely worth their prices, they also run frequent sales.
I don't know why I stopped posting my hauls, especially my candle hauls but I really should start again.
I burned Canteen Hot Cocoa pretty much for all of December and it lasted me the majority of the month.
Prominent scent notes:
Milk Chocolate, Warm Fudge, Fluffy Marshmallows, Whipped Cream & Vanilla
Canteen Hot Cocoa definitely had a chocolate scent which was the main scent being thrown. I couldn't detect much of the marshmallows but the whipped cream or a creamy-ness was there. The scent was strong enough to fill the whole apartment despite the candle only being lit in the office.
For the price this is worth a shot. Not to mention how cute is this candle label. I might be a little biased because I'm a sucker for watercolor anything, but I just loved looking at this candle on my desk!
If you're into chocolate scented candles I'd suggest checking out some of their other scents. With Valentine's Day coming up I'm sure they'll be releasing a lot more of the same theme!
My onelittleword for 2024;
After an extremely traumatic 2023 finding a word for 2024 wasn't hard at all. I barely struggled with it. And everything that I do within 2024 will reflect this word. Much harder than I've ever done in previous years. Because my healing, my mental health, is not just for me but for my girls too.
Going back to being the mom that I said I'd be when Tums was born. Working hard to avoid situations that'll make me relapse. Avoiding people who seem to be dead set on triggering me and pushing me off my path. And staying away from people who try to tell me what to do or what choices I should be making. People who tell me that my kids "shouldn't" be here are def not people I want to be around.
Making my silence more of a priority. Not answering my phone and not feeling bad for doing so. I don't need to reply to every message, text or phone call. Especially if I really don't want to.
And if this makes me sound selfish, then I guess that makes me selfish but I'm literally done caring. Because nothing is more important than MY happiness and my girls having a mom who isn't always in a bad mood.
I haven't put much thought into any specific resolutions, just focusing on getting better and recovering my mental health. I've gone way too long letting it suffer and enduring the opinions of other people. I need to get back into taking control of my life and what I want instead of worrying about upsetting other people cause that isn't the move and I don't know why I ever thought it was. In the end the ones to suffer were my girls and I'm never letting that happen again.
2023 was a lot like 2022 -- full of shit.
I got into drama with the same people and the same shit happened. It was like the same damn repeat. Throw in giving birth, postpartum, Tums moving out, almost dying -- literally, and being dragged down a hallway by someone you spent your whole life saying was the most important person in your life.
I was angry, a lot.
And the girls deserve a mom who isn't always angry. Who isn't always in a bad mood. And it's crazy how we allow one person to have that much power to make us angry. It shouldn't be that way. Just like you shouldn't put your happiness in someone else's hands, you shouldn't put any mf emotions in another mf's hands. They're not you. They're not living YOUR life. They don't have to endure you and your mind and your life every single day. But you do. Your emotions should always be yours to control.
A lot more bad happened than good and it was awful kind of bad.
Cozy gaming is finally a thing and I am here for it! I've always been a casual gamer and people will/use to say that females or casual gamers weren't gamers. Cozy gaming was my go to after working 7 days a week. I'd often fall asleep playing Animal Crossing New Leaf or Sudoku or a game called... omg I don't remember but it was a chill easy puzzle like game with super soothing music. It often put me to sleep.
I spent a lot of time playing cozy games on the Nintendo DS and the Nintendo 3DS, I wish I had brought most of my collection with me when I moved but sadly they're still sitting on my childhood room. I'll get them some day.
Over the years I've realized I'm a sucker for MMORPG's, cute RPG's and most farming sim games. Having to narrow this down to my top 3 favorite cozy games is pretty hard but if you're into gaming content and blog posts I do have a gaming blog here.
My 3 Favorite Cozy Games of All Time;
I have been super slacking on updating this blog! I keep telling myself I'll re-brand it but I just don't know exactly what I'm doing at the moment... so until I do, I'll just keep winging it I guess lol.
2022 was a mess of things. Like a huge mess of things and while I don't have faith that 2023 will be any better or easier; the most I can do is hope I go in a direction that will bring me some kind of contentment.
I don't have any resolutions for 2023, I didn't have time or energy or the mind space to come up with any. And I think I'm okay with that, for once. Whatever happens, happens. Whatever comes, comes. Whatever goes, goes.
I did however come up with a #onelittleword because.. well, I kinda have to. It helps me keep myself accountable and helps me to focus on the area's in my life and in myself that still need work.
With that said, my word for 2023;
★゜・。π±πΎππ½π³π°ππΈπ΄π 。・゜☆
Over the last few years (basically since Tums was born) I've learned the importance of boundaries and wondered how the hell did I go that long without having any solid ones. Then wondered why people treated me the way they did.
I have a habit of trying to always keep the peace with others, and while that's fine... mostly, it's not fine if it takes a toll on my mental health.
I'm refusing to do anything or put myself in a position where it may compromise my mental health and mental stability. Because at the end of the day, how I take care of myself and how I feel matters. I have kids who need a stable mom in order to care for them. That's no one else's responsibility but mine to make sure I provide that for them.
I do hope to re-brand this blog this year and turn it back into a place I had fun posting. In the meantime, I do run other blogs;
Mental Health & Gaming: pixiedustwords.com
Foodie: herloveforfood.co
Gaming: gamearella.com
Small Biz: pixiepinayco.com/blog
Stalkers welcome. Give me them page views lol.
What are some of your goals for 2023? Or your word if you picked one?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Social Icons