We are in the 4th month of the year. That's 2 months away from hitting mid-year. I recently learned that time indeed seems to pass faster the older you get because of the things you've already experienced. It's really interesting and also really scary in a mind fuck kind of way. Not at all comforting.

It's my birth month and usually I celebrate my birthday all week. Since moving to Texas, I have not and it's making my soul itch, if you know what I mean. The older I get, the more I want to move back into my "you can't tell me how to live my life" era because since I fund my own life, I should be in control of my own life and my own time. It would only make sense.

I'm not here to even attempt to romanticize April, as much as I want to. Because let's be real -- April means rain and rain anywhere other than Florida is miserable. April means the bugs are suddenly more comfortable coming outside. April means Spring which means allergens are ready to wreck yo face. As pretty and as girly it is to romanticize April, I'm not going to bother this year. Hop on Pinterest if you're looking for that. Or Threads, it's all over the place.

Instead, I'm going to give myself the low spoonie goal + hope guide for my 41st year. And goodness, has it been a long one already.

        | celebrate your birthday your way

That means, fuck what anyone else has to say!! Do you boo, it's your day. Your week. YOUR MONTH. Be as loud as you use to be.

| declutter items not spaces

I read that decluttering items like clothes or shoes or like specific things like that instead of area's or rooms or drawers can be less overwhelming. And I kinda see how that's a thing.

| go back to eating more greens and adding more iron rich foods to your meals again

I hate that I lost sight of this. Depression does some weird shit but changing my diet was uncalled for lol. I'm usually really good about eating iron rich foods, whole foods, healthy fats, all that stuff. Texans don't believe in healthy eating and I don't know why I even let that get to me. Don't like it? Don't eat it. But leave me the fuck out of it. I know my body and I know what I stick to long before any of this, so step off, thanks.

| do what you can to create your cozy space

Walking into your room should feel like a deep breath. It should uplift your spirits every time you set foot. It should reflect who you are as far as fandoms, colors and scents. Do all the things you use to do to create your sanctuary of a room when you first moved out.

| figure out how to take 4k videos of Switch games

I really want to start making Pokopia and Mario videos but also Animal Crossing. I low key miss playing that but every time I get on I want to redo my entire island. But there are so many Pokopia videos I want to make! The base Switch capture isn't that great, which is sad since we're on the Switch2 now. Like? When did the image quality go down? I do stream and play on pc with my capture card that has a 4k setting. I'd just... have to figure out how to use it lol.

I'm also debating on installing Streamlabs on my MacBook Neo, but like... would that be a bit much?? It's not like I game heavy on it or anything. Or even at all. The games I usually play on my phone or iPad aren't optimized for the MacBook, does it stop me from trying? No. Is Steam installed on my MacBook? Yes.

| gentle self discipline

Do one thing for future you. Rebuild without guilt -- no matter how long it may take or how slow you may move. 

Slow movement is better than no movement - Kai Cenat

The two can co-exist, why not? Rebuilding does seem scary, especially after everything that's happened but you were this sort of person before any of this happened, before anything. You even majored and graduated in social media, like, come on. Stop it! You're good at what you do, you need to stop acting otherwise.

It's your birth month and if you don't celebrate big for you then who will? We know this already, again stop acting like you don't know. Be you. The loud, unhinged, unapologetic you.