Monday, April 18, 2016

Life | When Depression Hits...

The best way to battle depression is by practicing gratitude.

*digs through pretty makeup bag*
*stares at pretty collection of books*
*cuddles sophie*
*looks at emails of companies who want to work with me*
*rereads sweet positive messages from friends*
*looks at level 34 arcanist on FFXIV i achieved*

Just because I deal with depression doesn't mean I'm ungrateful. It doesn't mean I think my life sucks or that I have nothing. Depression isn't something you can control. It's something you have to WORK AT EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR GODDAMN LIFE. And some days will be massively harder than others. Some weeks. Some months. No one knows. Not even you.

Today, I'm just too tired to fight. And it makes me feel weak. But I need to realize THAT'S OKAY to feel weak, it doesn't mean I am. It's okay TO FEEL. It's okay to spend all day crying.

I never cut myself a break. I force myself to get up and fight every single day. I force myself to be stronger. I EXPECT myself to be stronger.

I just need to remember to breathe. Surround myself with stuff that makes me happy normally. To take it one step at a time. I'll be okay. It's a process. And that too, is okay.

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