Thursday, November 15, 2018

I said yes 💍


I said yes 💍

Left ↠ Penny proposing to Axelyn in July 2016

Right ↠ Bubba’s real life engagement ring in October 2018

If you told me 2 years ago that this boy would be everything I had ever dreamed of and more. That he’d drop to one knee in real life some day and ask me to marry him, I probablyyyy wouldn’t believe you. But since our FFXIV wedding in 2016 he’s never treated me as anything less than a wife.

He is the most compassionate, patient and selfless man I’ve ever met and I am beyond excited to be spending the rest of my life with him.

If I'm being honest ─ we've talked about getting married almost our entire relationship but more so after I decided to move here and put down my deposit for my Texas apartment. I think that's when the "test runs" started. 

And despite that we've pretty much "always" talked about getting married I always imagined it was in our far future ─ I guess I miscalculated just how far we've come. It's crazy just how fast two years can just fly by right before your eyes!

We've been talking about engagement rings for at least the last year and how he's been on and off searching for one for me. But he also mentioned his mom has a collection of rings she wanted to pass down and as someone who comes from a very small and distant family the concept seemed a bit odd. He did mention that he had planned to propose with one but still get me my own as well. I imagine whenever the wedding set's come into play.

He mentioned at some point recently that he had picked one out from his mom's collection but he had to go resize it. He made sure to put some things into consideration: how easy it would be to resize (my hands are really really tiny) and that it couldn't be gold (I'm allergic). I'm not sure how long he had this ring hiding out in his room.

One morning he said he was going to call my mom up and ask her for permission to propose. He's said that before a few times and I just brushed it off as he was just kidding ─ his original plan had always been to ask her in person. He was going to use our baby shower in December to do that but since my mom was worried about the time frames and that I was "stressing too much" she wasn't sure she liked the idea. I can't blame her to be honest. The time frame between when we we'd find out the gender and when I would stop being allowed to fly was a 2-3 week difference and that wasn't enough time to set up an entire baby shower the way I would want to. Especially for someone who hasn't set foot in California or seen her family and friends in seven years.

So Bubba gave me the choice to keep the baby shower OR go to Disneyland instead. Of course I opted for Disneyland, why would I ever say no to Disney?! And instead we planned on visiting NorCal after the baby is born.

So he calls her and asks her for permission; like he REALLY did that. In my mind I figured he'd still have time to do one of his epic ideas he had thrown at me. I figured maybe he'd do it in December. Actually I thought I was SURE he would. Maybe somewhere we shared a particular memory or something?!

But it didn't happen that way lol.

He came over one Friday. I mean he usually spends the weekends here so him coming by on a Friday night wasn't random by any means. However this time he didn't even text me to tell me he was off work, he just buzzed my gate and I figured maybe he just maybe forgot? I don't know. But he comes in and does all the normal routine stuff but instead of just opening the bedroom door to tell me he's here he storms in ─ in his street clothes (which I have OCD and anxiety. Typically outside clothes aren't allowed in the bedroom so I was KINDA freaking out about this) ─ gets on one knee and proposes. I mean, he prefaced it with stuff but he didn't have some epic 20 minute speech like Penny did for Axelyn and he thankfully didn't make me cry.

I however can't remember a damn thing he said but I do remember the energy he was releasing and how it was urgent and a bit of something else. Point is, I could definitely sense the need and desire and urgency. I just wish I could remember some of the words too lol. But I guess that's just something that'll forever be tucked away in my memory until I some day do remember. 


He loves that we're finally engaged. And tbh I think we were both starting to get a bit impatient. 

But despite how much smaller and how much more simple the ring is; every time I put it on I fall more and more in love with it. I'm so lucky to be welcomed into such a big and loving family like his and I'm so blessed to be loved unconditionally by someone who just wants to see me happy, laughing and who's willing to help me achieve every dream I can think of. 

It just surprises me how big announcements like pregnancy and engagements can really show you who people really are ─ who's cheering you on and who isn't and it's so interesting and sometimes super baffling to see... especially when it's "family". I hope they find their happiness eventually.

The wedding planning has already started... slowly. We still have a lot of time to go considering that Baby Lo is still on the way and we've got to focus on bringing a happy and healthy baby into the world and celebrating their beginning of life first!

Me: Do you ever miss our beginning?
Bubba: No, we still have all that... and so much more.

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