Showing posts with label family loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family loss. Show all posts
May was a pretty hard month; or well there was a week in it that was particularly... hard. In life people suffer loss, it's just one of those things and no matter how much we prepare ourselves or how much we think we'll be fine, we usually aren't. At least not for awhile. Ever since COVID the weeks and months just start to blur together and it gets hard to remember what I did in which month. Esp since I don't get out as much as I use to and so I don't take as many pictures as I use to either.
The week of Mother's Day Bubba was feeling worse than he had earlier so he took himself to the ER where he did test positive for COVID. He had been coughing for about a week and it was starting to get pretty bad. I had headaches (thankfully not migraines, ironically), body aches, dizziness and a low grade fever for about 2-3 days. Then I just didn't. I never had a full blown fever or coughing and congestion, at all. I retained my sense of smell and taste up until maybe the end of the week for about 2 days. Bubba had medicine and an inhaler to take. I just kept popping Emergen-C gummies and staying on top of my Vit C and trying to stay hydrated by drinking something other than soda all day.
On Thursday that same week, my cat I adopted as a 30th birthday/post divorce gift in 2015 was having a rough day. She was diagnosed with kidney failure 5 years ago and since moving to TX she's just gotten progressively worse in various areas of her health. She started getting annual ear infections. That moved on to masses growing in her ears and eventually in her eye. She stopped bathing herself. And that's when things started to get bad really fast. The last week she hadn't been eating her medicated food but would eat human food; which she never really cared too much for anything besides cheese, whipped cream, vanilla ice cream and Cheetos. And yet the only thing she would fight you for was the cheese. Everything else, if you offered she would take. But beyond those human foods, she didn't care for anything else. She had also started crying day and night and no matter what we did to help, it just wouldn't stop.
The last time we brought her to the vet they found a mass growing behind one of her eyes, because of her age and her health they told us that they probably would decide against putting her under and taking care of the masses because it would probably hurt her more than help. We were also advised to consider not giving her rabies shots after a point, esp since she was a single indoor only cat.
So on this particular day, I noticed she seemed unable to move. Almost like she couldn't move her arms and legs. She sort of just laid there, like a pancake and hard a hard time breathing. I spent as much time as I could with her petting her and talking to her. Telling her it's okay and she did so good being the most amazing companion a person could ask for. I eventually had to go to bed because I was still recovering from COVID.
By the time Bubba had gotten up Friday morning, she was gone.
In one week I had COVID and lost my best companion. I still don't really feel like talking to anyone about anything in particular. I'm at least feeling up to writing/blogging again but other than that... I'm just finding it to be too much energy to talk about anything. The house is a lot more quiet and feels a lot more empty without her here. Like something is definitely missing. I haven't lived anywhere in 6 years without her, and while I knew it was going to be hard, I still feel totally unprepared. It took me two weeks to really cry about it and now I just randomly burst into tears; it's like it just opened a whole gate of emotions.
Bub caught me crying one night and I woke up to these flowers and a sweet note from him and Tums.
How is it possible that this year is traveling even faster despite the on and off lock down's?! This year is just zooming by; it's almost Spooky and Holiday Szn and I'm glad to have something to look forward to.
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In August I managed to read about 3 books;
The Will and the Wilds by Charlie Holmberg was one of those reads that I didn't love but I couldn't put down! It was SO weird. I have more of this authors books on my Kindle that I have yet to start on. No idea why I started with the latest one lol but I'm excited to dive into her other books! I also wrote a book review on it on the Places + Peonies blog!
Fairy Tail Vol 1 was up on Kindle Unlimited so I figured WHY NOT. I'm a huge fan of Fairy Tail. A little too huge. It's the one anime that just lifts my spirits and I rewatch it ALL the time. It follows pretty much the intro episodes of the anime. But it was still neat to see in manga form!
Six Figure Blogging in 3 Months was a borrow from Scribd. I've bookmarked a ton of blogging/social media books trying to get updated on the change of the internet world. The problem is that you don't really know what some of these books include. I didn't find that this one was too helpful. It does have a great resource page for affiliate programs to look into, but other than that... I didn't find any other part to be as helpful.
I don't tend to write too many personal posts here; although I wanted to when I started this blog. It's just hard when people aren't driven to blogs for personal posts like they use to be. And I know the whole "it's your blog, post what you want!" but you also don't want to let your readers down. Idk, maybe it's just me?
I'm rambling.
I also have a migraine.
And I'm writing this at 616am.
One year ago today my dad passed away in his sleep.
He had been battling cancer for 8 years. I hadn't seen him in 6 years. That will always be one of the hardest realities to face. I wouldn't say my dad and I were close exactly, but we got along better than me and my mom did while I was growing up. I was a spoiled jerk as a teenager (just thinking back on how I acted gets on my nerves but I was also a very angry teenager for reasons I don't really want to mention) but I was definitely always a Daddy's Girl.
I'm rambling.
I also have a migraine.
And I'm writing this at 616am.
One year ago today my dad passed away in his sleep.
He had been battling cancer for 8 years. I hadn't seen him in 6 years. That will always be one of the hardest realities to face. I wouldn't say my dad and I were close exactly, but we got along better than me and my mom did while I was growing up. I was a spoiled jerk as a teenager (just thinking back on how I acted gets on my nerves but I was also a very angry teenager for reasons I don't really want to mention) but I was definitely always a Daddy's Girl.
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