May was a pretty hard month; or well there was a week in it that was particularly... hard. In life people suffer loss, it's just one of those things and no matter how much we prepare ourselves or how much we think we'll be fine, we usually aren't. At least not for awhile. Ever since COVID the weeks and months just start to blur together and it gets hard to remember what I did in which month. Esp since I don't get out as much as I use to and so I don't take as many pictures as I use to either.
The week of Mother's Day Bubba was feeling worse than he had earlier so he took himself to the ER where he did test positive for COVID. He had been coughing for about a week and it was starting to get pretty bad. I had headaches (thankfully not migraines, ironically), body aches, dizziness and a low grade fever for about 2-3 days. Then I just didn't. I never had a full blown fever or coughing and congestion, at all. I retained my sense of smell and taste up until maybe the end of the week for about 2 days. Bubba had medicine and an inhaler to take. I just kept popping Emergen-C gummies and staying on top of my Vit C and trying to stay hydrated by drinking something other than soda all day.
On Thursday that same week, my cat I adopted as a 30th birthday/post divorce gift in 2015 was having a rough day. She was diagnosed with kidney failure 5 years ago and since moving to TX she's just gotten progressively worse in various areas of her health. She started getting annual ear infections. That moved on to masses growing in her ears and eventually in her eye. She stopped bathing herself. And that's when things started to get bad really fast. The last week she hadn't been eating her medicated food but would eat human food; which she never really cared too much for anything besides cheese, whipped cream, vanilla ice cream and Cheetos. And yet the only thing she would fight you for was the cheese. Everything else, if you offered she would take. But beyond those human foods, she didn't care for anything else. She had also started crying day and night and no matter what we did to help, it just wouldn't stop.
The last time we brought her to the vet they found a mass growing behind one of her eyes, because of her age and her health they told us that they probably would decide against putting her under and taking care of the masses because it would probably hurt her more than help. We were also advised to consider not giving her rabies shots after a point, esp since she was a single indoor only cat.
So on this particular day, I noticed she seemed unable to move. Almost like she couldn't move her arms and legs. She sort of just laid there, like a pancake and hard a hard time breathing. I spent as much time as I could with her petting her and talking to her. Telling her it's okay and she did so good being the most amazing companion a person could ask for. I eventually had to go to bed because I was still recovering from COVID.
By the time Bubba had gotten up Friday morning, she was gone.
In one week I had COVID and lost my best companion. I still don't really feel like talking to anyone about anything in particular. I'm at least feeling up to writing/blogging again but other than that... I'm just finding it to be too much energy to talk about anything. The house is a lot more quiet and feels a lot more empty without her here. Like something is definitely missing. I haven't lived anywhere in 6 years without her, and while I knew it was going to be hard, I still feel totally unprepared. It took me two weeks to really cry about it and now I just randomly burst into tears; it's like it just opened a whole gate of emotions.
Bub caught me crying one night and I woke up to these flowers and a sweet note from him and Tums.
WATCHED
I started watching Schitt's Creek and I'm obsessed with Stevie, Ted, Patrick and David. I love David and Patrick as separate people more than I do them together. Tums has been really into Octonagts; I love that she's really into these educational things and she soaks it all up like a sponge! It's literally how she learned her colors and animals. I've been a bit into True and the Wishing Tree (it's super cute).
We watched Mortal Kombat and honestly, I loved it! It was super sad because I didn't know everyone's story (I just grew up playing the game, I hate doing story mode on any game that I don't need to do it on), but it was MUCH better than the 90's version! We also watched Frozen II and tbh, I love it SO MUCH MUCH MORE than Frozen. The music was so much better! And maybe it's just cause I can relate to Elsa in this one even more. I've been listening to the soundtrack nonstop. "Into The Unknown" lives rent free in my head. Daily.
READ
Yeah uh, nothing. Sadly. I started From Rufio to Zuko by Dante Basco but I didn't finish it and I didn't finish anything on my AAPI TBR which sucks, but May was pretty rough.
ATE
I did discover a bit of new eats in May. B took me to this like... Korean Town like city and we tried a bunch of Korean street food. I'm such a sucker for street food!
J U N E 2 0 2 1
I'm combining the two because I realized I never posted my recap for May, it was just hard to talk about.
Nothing interesting happened in June but it was super productive! I finally launched my Etsy shop that's been in the back of my mind for years. I'm having so much fun coming up with designs! Tums has been my little helper.
The bad memories of June came and went. Adjusting to Sophie not being here is harder some days more than others. Other than work, June was pretty... boring. Most summers here are. I miss the days of summer vacations, trips, discovering things and foods and places. I love being a mom but having a toddler makes things a little more harder. I feel more limited. And I hate it. Not because of Tums but just because of where I am.
WATCHED
We watched Raya and it was cute. But it def felt super rushed in some parts. I'm avoiding the last season of Schitts Creek because I'm not ready for it end. So I've been filling my time with Workin Moms which is SO relatable. Tums has been watching more Paw Patrol, Blippi and Chip & Potato which I find kind of annoying.
READ
I finished one book in June: Filipinos in Vallejo and I actually saw a few of my friends in it! How cool right?! I never knew our generation started movements as far as Filipino culture went. We were just doing things we thought would be fun.
I'm reading a bunch of these shorter history type books. I feel like there's so much I don't know that I should, by now, know. I guess that's part of my historical fiction kick in 2021 too.
ATE
I went back to my roots a bit and started eating comfort food/meals from high school. Like rice bowls from Panda Express. I did discover a new Oatmilk Coffee drink from Target that I'm obsessed with! Also tried the new Cheetos in "Mexican Street Corn" which is pretty yum! Those Annie's Ice Cream Shop fruit snacks are also really good.
F A V S
Cherry season is the best season! I've also been obsessed with Solitaire Farm on my Samsung Galaxy Tablet! I've been reaching for this tablet more because it has my planner in it. And it's less of a hassle to charge than my iPad. This new PC gaming chair Bub got me. Even though Tums likes to steal it when I leave the room. It feels so much better! I've also been nonstop playing the Aladdin live action soundtrack. I haven't seen the movie yet, which is weird. But now I think I want to since I'm so obsessed with the soundtrack!
That's basically how my May & June went. How was yours? I hope it was well and you're all staying safe and healthy!
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