Showing posts with label the struggle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the struggle. Show all posts
Anyone else feel like January is like... the trial version of the New Year Resolutions? We get so hyped up on our goals and super inspired... yet next thing we know it's mid January and we feel like epic failures for not "staying on track".
I know I struggled A LOT with this, especially since I'm so fixated on doing the things I didn't get to do in 2019 because of all the postpartum depression and general depression that happened and robbed me of my time. But I'm trying really hard to remind myself that any step forward is still a step forward. No matter how many things I do or don't tick off my "to-do" list for that day/week/month.
I have to remind myself that this is a progress, not a destination.
I know I struggled A LOT with this, especially since I'm so fixated on doing the things I didn't get to do in 2019 because of all the postpartum depression and general depression that happened and robbed me of my time. But I'm trying really hard to remind myself that any step forward is still a step forward. No matter how many things I do or don't tick off my "to-do" list for that day/week/month.
I have to remind myself that this is a progress, not a destination.
The best way to battle depression is by practicing gratitude.
*digs through pretty makeup bag*
*stares at pretty collection of books*
*cuddles sophie*
*looks at emails of companies who want to work with me*
*rereads sweet positive messages from friends*
*looks at level 34 arcanist on FFXIV i achieved*
Just because I deal with depression doesn't mean I'm ungrateful. It doesn't mean I think my life sucks or that I have nothing. Depression isn't something you can control. It's something you have to WORK AT EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR GODDAMN LIFE. And some days will be massively harder than others. Some weeks. Some months. No one knows. Not even you.
Today, I'm just too tired to fight. And it makes me feel weak. But I need to realize THAT'S OKAY to feel weak, it doesn't mean I am. It's okay TO FEEL. It's okay to spend all day crying.
I never cut myself a break. I force myself to get up and fight every single day. I force myself to be stronger. I EXPECT myself to be stronger.
I just need to remember to breathe. Surround myself with stuff that makes me happy normally. To take it one step at a time. I'll be okay. It's a process. And that too, is okay.
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