Life | 5 Things I Learned at 35

I honestly can't believe I'm 35 half the time. I feel like my mind is still stuck at 28. Though thinking back, a lot has happened SINCE I was 28. And that just makes me feel even older.

I'm a firm believer that age has a lot to do with your comprehension skills and that experience teaches you the hard stuff. Without venturing out of your own comfort zone, you're doing yourself a disservice by rejecting growth. People need to push their boundaries and to figure out who they are in uncomfortable situations in order to grow.

And in my opinion, I've seen way too many adults who didn't do that and honestly, when it comes to certain things I need from someone, it shows. I'm not saying I know everything but I've experienced a lot. A lot of dark and a lot of light. And I'm always going to be thankful for both because they both played a part in building who I am today.

5 Things I Learned at 35;

-- Truly no matter what you do some people just won't like you.

You could be kind and warm and welcoming. And never have a bad thing to say about anyone and people still won't like you. But here's a secret, if you've been nothing but kind to someone and they find some profound reason to not like you; it has absolutely nothing to do with you and everything to do with them and their own issues.

It sucks and it's frustrating but the most you can do is just walk away and not let their toxic bits seep into your energy. It's okay if some people don't like you cause there are a shit ton more who will.

-- Love isn't enough to make a relationship work.

I always say love don't pay bills cause it doesn't. But not only that but love in my experience is fleeting. I don't know if it's because I'm an Aries or you know, childhood trauma but whatever it is, it's pretty hard to keep my love for you at an intense level. Being a divorcee reallyyyy opens your eyes to a lot of things you want and don't want in your life. What you'll settle for and what's a deal breaker. Communication, as in being on the same wavelength is super important. If you're a big ball of sarcasm who uses pop culture references when you talk and your partner does not, you're gonna be upset. I should know. If you feel unable to be honest with each other, that's gonna Jenga your shit all over the place at some point. I've learned that you have to be on some kind of related page in order to work.

-- Divorce sucks but it's not the end of the world.

I read somewhere around the time I got divorced that divorce is the death of what was and what could had been. When I tell people I married and divorced my high school sweetheart they always ask how does something like that happen and tbh it just does. One of my close friends married the guy she was dating since the 7th grade, the only guy she had ever been with and then in their 20's got divorced. Some people have a profound reason and others don't. The crazy thing about both of us is that in our first marriage we absolutely did not want kids. It wasn't even up for debate. But now that we're on our second marriage, suddenly we're all about having kids and I think out of everything THAT blows my mind the most. Divorce sucks, no way around that. 

It gives you a chance to get to know yourself and to rebuild parts of your life you might had missed out on. It helps you see things on a deeper scale. To rebuild friendships and relationships that might had been lost or drifted away. To be free to be you, as a whole ass person. It'll be scary, but once you find your rhythm you'll wonder why you settled for anything less. 

-- Manifestation is REAL

I've always believed in The Law of Attraction and manifesting anything you want. The energy you put into the universe that allows you to feel intensely about a goal is felt by everyone around you. I always knew I wanted to work for Disney. I don't know WHERE or HOW I would, just that I WAS. It took a few years, but I do believe the universe sends you clues, hints and arrows. It's just up to you to take them or leave them. Again, don't be afraid to jump out of your comfort zone if it calls you to.

Putting your energy into a goal and pouring all you can into it, working towards it even if you don't know how or why or what you're doing; will help you, if anything, see what you SHOULD be doing and WHERE to go. It'll be a serious moment of clarity and all the time you spent hoping and wishing will be worth it. Because the journey? That's also a really fun part of it all.

-- Self care is crucial

As someone who struggles with OCD and anxiety as well as seasonal and general depression; I take my self care rituals very seriously. There's no room for excuses or reasons why I can't on a certain day. Though I'm heavily debating on switching up my self care routine. Spending quiet alone time (as quiet and as alone as you can depending on your environment) with yourself is so important. Be it a block of time each day or a certain day a week. And it's not like you have to go treat yoself or anything, unless you want to, then do you. But it could be something as simple and scrolling through Instagram freely for 30 mins without worrying about what's next on your to do list. Or soaking in a bubble bath for awhile. Setting aside time to read a book you've been looking forward to. Cooking your favorite comfort meal. Netflixing for a block of time a day. It can be anything that helps you wind down and relax.

But whatever it is, I hope you find the time to make it happen. We tend to pay a lot of attention to our bodies and helping them heal and stay healthy yet when it comes to our soul's we don't take it as seriously. And I believe if more people did, there would be less rude people in the world.

What are some very important things you've learned through your life? Or advice you'd give to a younger you?