I honestly can't believe I'm 35 half the time. I feel like my mind is still stuck at 28. Though thinking back, a lot has happened SINCE I was 28. And that just makes me feel even older.

I'm a firm believer that age has a lot to do with your comprehension skills and that experience teaches you the hard stuff. Without venturing out of your own comfort zone, you're doing yourself a disservice by rejecting growth. People need to push their boundaries and to figure out who they are in uncomfortable situations in order to grow.

And in my opinion, I've seen way too many adults who didn't do that and honestly, when it comes to certain things I need from someone, it shows. I'm not saying I know everything but I've experienced a lot. A lot of dark and a lot of light. And I'm always going to be thankful for both because they both played a part in building who I am today.

Weekly Recap use to be a weekly thing I did on this blog and my previous lifestyle blog a few years ago. I recently haven't been able to find time to keep up with it that regularly so I stopped. It is something I would like to get back into, especially since these seem to be some of my favorite posts from other bloggers as well!

This weekend I got sick. 

And apparently a lot more than I thought happened, happened.

Sunday's lately have been for relaxing; which is nice. I usually end up rushing around on Sunday's getting homework and doing some chores done. This last Sunday we took a walk around a plaza we frequent and I was able to pick up the pretty pastel Ulta makeup bag they were giving out for free with a purchase of $20 in Ulta brand beauty products. I ended up picking up this palette on a whim but I am heavily excited about the quality! I can't wait to play with it!

In addition to celebrating the ten year death anniversary of my baby hamster Flix (I wish I had a post to refer back to about how much he means to me but I never wrote one on this blog --- goes to show I need to write more!), my mom informed me that my baby girl back home Chammy has passed. My mom doesn't like telling me these things... a few years ago I completely flipped out when I found out my first cat passed while I was living across the country doing an internship with Disney World. I took it really badly and it took me forever to heal. But my anxiety was at an all time high back then and my new husband was showing his true useless colors. It was just a bad time in my life.

Chammy was rescued in 2012. She was the runt of the two litters. She was really tiny but she loved food and she was very active as a kitten. Then one day she just... wasn't. She didn't play but she loved treats. She stayed tiny. She was always throwing up and sick but she was a happy girl who kept my mom company and was her little healer. Chammy lived to be 3 1/2 years, which is a hell of a lot longer than we thought she would make it. She will always be missed. She inspired me to adopt Sophie, since Sophie is so tiny and throws up a lot she reminded me of Chammy. I don't regret adopting Sophie no matter how much of a handful she is and we never regretted rescuing Chammy no matter what she got into. We love you Chammy girl, always.

I got a lot of loves the next few days from Jane and Sophie. It's nice to be surrounded by fur babies. This particular morning Nick and I woke up to toys from Jane scattered around. She likes leaving him toys at night. As if Jane could get ANY more adorbs, right?!

It's been nice this week. Nick has been watching a few vlogs lately and I'm hoping it'll inspire him to start his own... so he picked up the dSLR and played with it a bit.

I went with Nick to work on Thursday. I was having issues with my bank card --- honestly I was having issues with Bank of America since the day I signed up, I'm so done with them --- and I wasn't able to pay for my lunch. So I called my bank to see what was going on. I was on the phone for 45 mins. The lady who was taking my order ended up just giving me my meal for free. She was like "I was waiting for you to get off the phone to tell you I was just going to handle it for you, I'm not going to let anyone starve!" I was SO touched. Like, I was having a rough 24 hours and the fact that she did this nice thing for me seriously was going to make me cry. I was uber thankful for her sweet gesture. I love how when I'm feeling down and out a stranger always comes along and reminds me of why I shouldn't give up. It's the universe giving you little memos along the way, you've just gotta listen.

So to the kind lady at the bagel place, thank you SO much. You did so much more than you could ever imagine for me that day!

Managed to give this drink a try. Didn't realize that there was milk in it and ended up getting sick. Apparently my lactose intolerance has come back. Full force.

I also did a candle exchange at Bath & Body Works I was disappointed in. Usually if I do product for product even exchange it's not a problem. Candle for candle. But the lady at this store decided to scan the candles and went off their price. So for the two I went in to exchange she only let me get one. That's never in the years I've been shopping at BBW ever happen!! I love BBW but I've noticed lately that they haven't been that great with in store exchanges or customer service. I'm a little glad I've been loving Yankee Candle a bit more recently. They don't pull shady crap like that.

*edit. I just called customer service about it and they said I was suppose to get two candles for my two. Strange.

 I was hit with intense stomach pains for hours so Nick made me a fluffy nest on the couch and some creamy chicken soup. I couldn't move so I couldn't feed myself so he handed me Norman to help. Who's in worse shape than I'm in lol. He legit filmed the entire struggle of me trying to get this straw-to-soup thing to work though.

Woke up to this email! Nick and I made it on the Influensters email! How cool is that?!? You can watch the review we did here!

I can't get over the look on Sophie's face here. Nick grabbed her for kisses and she was struggling then she just... gave up. She looks like she's smiling but she also looked really really scared lmfao!

Of course all was forgiven with the help of her favorite food in the world --- cheese. She will literally jump on you for it. And steal it out of your hand.

Woke up with a migraine Saturday morning so decided to do some lightweight cleaning and laundry and lit candles around the apartment. Anything to make it more zen and peaceful. 

I'm loving this new scent from Bath & Body Works Spring collection this year. This was one Nick actually picked up and liked (he's totally anti BBW and pro Yankee Candle). Plus it's pink so it fits on my vanity prefectly. Also, I can never find my NYX Jumbo Pencil in Milk. I swear every time I use it, it grows legs and walks away right after...

Here's to hoping I feel better soon!

I probably should had posted this yesterday or last night but we got home late so naturally I'm posting it today! Still debating on if I should skip a weekly recap post. 

So first off Happy Birthday to one of the most amazing, caring, compassionate, sweetest, brutally honest, adorable and frustrating person I know. Thank you for everything you do for Sophie and I. Your care does not go unnoticed. We are both very thankful for you babes. Thank you for caring about me as intensely as you do, for always making sure I'm okay and I'm completely stress free even if you're holding the weight of the world on your shoulders you never fail to put me first. I'm glad you had a good birthday babe, I didn't get to spoil you as much as I wanted to (you should be scared when Christmas rolls by) but I'm still feeling rather accomplished. I love you so much, never forget that! Here's to many more years of frustration, adventures and love.

Yesterday was pretty busy.

The day before babes went to a wedding and came home a bit tipsy with way too much energy and started his birthday off with an epic pillow fight with me (seriously the most random thing ever) then we fell asleep while watching anime. This one particular one always puts me to sleep. It's insane. I'm trying so hard to pay attention and I always end up falling asleep! It's not that it's even boring. I don't know what it is, it's strange how that happens lol.

I'm a sucker for things like this --- writing letters to your younger self. Because if you could go back and say something to the younger, confused, hurting version of you after everything you've been through, what would you say? I had a lot to say and this doesn't even cover most of it.

I decided to pick when I was 16, because that is when majority of the things started happening to me. That's when things got better and when they got very very bad. 

So.... it's the end of January now (literally, it's the 31st) and... I duuuuuno... the month sort of just slipped passed me in a way. Like I literally don't remember that much of January. It's weird, it's like one day I was walking out of my bedroom and looking around my apartment thinking this place is a mess! It almost felt like I wasn't even here for the last week. Like I checked out to LaLa Land or something. It was strange. Though to be fair, the last few months have sort of been strange. A daze of clouded memories, various stages of pain and just being sad and suicidal. I know no one likes to hear about that and I have a completely separate blog in which I get into the details of it but I will bring it up from time to time here too because it is a big part of my every day life.

I know I had a list of things I was hoping to get done by the end of the month... which I swear I COULD HAD achieved, had I not checked out. But to be fair, I spent a week in the weirdest painful sickness ever because my dumbass was going through drug withdrawal since I messed up my med count. So I went five days without and it was awful which is crazy because my dose is really really small. I couldn't imagine the people who took Xanax and had to be taken off of it for whatever reason. It's almost like you just want to die. Never again. So about a week of that went on. I tried to update my twitter and instagram as frequently as I could though.

Really don't know the purpose of this post. Just to say hi I guess. I'm still here! Valentines Day is coming up and I don't have any tutorials (I would LOVE to do tutorials but honestly, I'm as blind as a bat --- maybe worse --- without my glasses. I've thought about contacts but I think I look weird without glasses and I have a slight fear of getting the contacts in my eyes.) coming up. I do plan on doing some Valentines Day candy reviews. Valentines Day is sorta my jam when it comes to candy. Just because everything looks all pretty and girly. I also have brief restaurants to review but I think I'm going to post full reviews on my food blog just because I need to get that thing up and running again. And also I have some DIY idea's, I just need to find a way to properly film them. Don't you ever wish there was two of you? Cause I know every time I try to get M to film my videos they always come out wrong and I get super frustrated cause he's not listening to me lol!

I might end up doing more blog posts than actual videos just because some of the stuff I wanna talk about there's isn't enough to say to include it in a video.

Hoping to at least film a Jan Favs video soon! And talk about the 3 Julep boxes I got in January. Totally shoulda got on this earlier. For shame Hazel, for shame!

So I was suppose to post this like, way earlier in the month. Right after I talked about my #onelittleword with you guys. I didn't really make my solid resolutions. I think my mind is avoiding the subject every time I bring it up. Yup, it's doing it right now. So we're gonna go with month to month goals so it doesn't freak out.

This year I'm doing vlogmas. If you're unfamiliar with vlogmas it's when you post a vlog every day from Dec 1 - Dec 25th. So check out my channel here [ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnjKOfHUd0yntveeBwUslaw ] for daily vlogs until Christmas! Don't forget to subscribe as well!

I know I have a million different blogs. I'm hoping this is the last time I change my name. I don't see why I would change it considering I'm pretty much in love with this username. But then again, it's me we're talking about.

This isn't a beauty blog strictly though I will be doing hauls, reviews and stuff like that. There's also going to be a bunch of lifestyle posts. Things that make up me and my life, a couple of struggles though I have another blog for that as well. Things I find interesting or just things I want to say. I'm tired of be confined to just ONE subject. I felt like I couldn't have a lifestyle blog without having it be a beauty blog. If that makes sense. But I want this space to be more about me. About my journey. About my struggles.