Showing posts with label Adventure. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adventure. Show all posts
I honestly can't believe I'm 35 half the time. I feel like my mind is still stuck at 28. Though thinking back, a lot has happened SINCE I was 28. And that just makes me feel even older.
I'm a firm believer that age has a lot to do with your comprehension skills and that experience teaches you the hard stuff. Without venturing out of your own comfort zone, you're doing yourself a disservice by rejecting growth. People need to push their boundaries and to figure out who they are in uncomfortable situations in order to grow.
And in my opinion, I've seen way too many adults who didn't do that and honestly, when it comes to certain things I need from someone, it shows. I'm not saying I know everything but I've experienced a lot. A lot of dark and a lot of light. And I'm always going to be thankful for both because they both played a part in building who I am today.
5 Things I Learned at 35;
Happy year of The Pig!
This year we went and joined the Lunar New Year celebration like we did last year.
2018 was a whirlwind of a year.
I also hate how out of order my posts are going to be for the next month; I still have one or two 2018 posts I want to write but I've already started writing 2019 posts. Whoops.
Pregnancy brain.
For one of the last trips to Dallas in 2019 I wanted to try a French bakery that I've had my eye on pretty much all year — Bisous Bisous Pâtisserie which is located in Uptown Dallas. I won't be reviewing the bakery in this post, I'm saving that for a different post cause it deserves its own post. Trust me.
I've wanted to change the content for hazearella (my lifestyle/makeup/candle blog) for a few years now but never had the drive to make the content or take the pictures I wanted. So I decided on this day, I was going to.
I wanted to start 2019 with being the blogger I always wanted to be; to my surprise when I pitched this idea to Bubba his only response was: "F I N A L L Y." Gotta love a man who supports your passions!
I'm still working on not being camera shy and I'm still working on how to pose for photos. I'm so use to being behind the camera and when I'm not, I'm usually turned around or taking a selfie.
I hope in 2019 I'm able to let go of these small silly insecurities. That I'm able to express myself more and be okay with the fact that no matter how hard I try sometimes my makeup isn't going to always be perfect. Or that not every photo will be perfection. But I hope to post it all anyway. I hope to have fun with it. I hope to fall in love with lifestyle blogging the way I always dreamed and wanted.
I also hope to learn how to dress myself like a human being as well! I told myself no hoodies in 2019 (I mean of course there's certain exceptions but for the most part if we're going OUT OUT, no hoodies). I use to put effort into dressing nice and doing my hair and putting on makeup; I want to get back into that habit again.
Because it made me feel good. It made me feel awake and alive. It made me feel productive. And with a baby on the way — I'm sure you can assume how drained and blah I feel on a daily basis. Pulling yourself out of that is hard; but I don't want to end up like those mama's who can't find time to take care of themselves and end up blaming the baby.
Baby Lo is here to enhance my life. Not take over it. Not change it. Not take things away from me. But add on that extra encouragement. The extra smile and laugh while I figure out this new chapter in my life that's coming up quick!
Two years ago I married my best friend in a different world.
I can't believe it's been two whole years since then! Time truly does fly when you're having fun, I guess. Because it definitely doesn't feel like two years. It feels like we just got married. But thinking of the span of time from this day to today and everything that has happened between is crazy.
I'm thankful for this moment. For this day. For the friends that were once family and though they're not anymore I still keep these memories close to me. I'm thankful for the man by my side who did everything in his power to be there for me --- a random girl he met on a video game states away and how he never left my side.
I definitely didn't know what I was getting into when I decided to say yes to Sir Penny'puss.
I'm not Chinese, even though most people who see/meet me think I am. Especially when my hair is long and dyed. Sorry to disappoint, I'm full Filipino!
But my mom has always had a habit of giving us red envelops for Chinese New Year growing up and I even have my own money tree from when I was a kid that she made for me and my brother.
I've never actually celebrated Chinese New Year or saw any real life celebrations because I was in Florida for 5 years and pffft they have ZERO diversity or any notion to welcome other cultures. Surprisingly not even the China Pavilion in EPCOT celebrated! Though I saw this year DisneyLAND did throw a celebration party and it looked epic.
I was scrolling through IG (as I do, a lot --- #shamelessplug follow our IG @pxa.hxj) and I saw an Asian Market plaza we recently discovered was doing weekend celebrations and Sunday was the last day.
So, we went!
This entry is a few days later than I had planned for it to be up, and even now I haven't really spent much time thinking about what I'm actually trying to say lol so we're gonna wing it!
My anxiety has been on and off kicking my ass lately, some days it's not as bad as others and other days I just don't want to do anything but curl into a ball. I want to attempt to challenge myself this month. I read that the only way to ease anxiety such as OCD is to practice something I absolutely hate and scares the crap outta me --- exposure therapy. Though not at very high extreme's.
At the moment my apartment is damn near done with everything being unpacked, I just have to wash a few more blankets and find a home for certain things, then my whole living room needs to me mopped so I can stop wearing shoes inside my apartment and walk around in slippers like I've always wanted to. I personally hate wearing my shoes in my apartment but I didn't figure that there was a reason to go through a shit ton of cleaning if moving in, building stuff and all that wasn't even done yet. But now that all of that is, I don't have an excuse as to why I haven't mopped besides that I have 3 boxes left to be sorted though.
So one of my goals this month is to finish unpacking those 3 boxes and mop my floor.
October is very very close from now and I normally make an October/Halloween reading challenge list. I somewhat failed that last year so I'm hoping to do better this year. Along with that I want to be better at bookstagramming and being more active on my bookish social media accounts because I do really miss that world.
I have a few creative goals I'm hoping to start this Fall as well; all in all I have high hopes that my restart will begin. Now.
- Tidy and mop the apartment
- Read 4 books in preparation for October
- Pactice bookstagramming and flat lays
- Research social media tips
- Practice mindfulness
- Organize emails
- Play with makeup more
- Get 2 of Axelyn's main classes to 50
- Make 1 candle
- Learn to duel (as Bubba's request)
There are other things like find a job in my field which is going to take some time. But I would like to get a jump start on everything I moved here to do and accomplish.
My anxiety has a tendency to make me not want to move or make me afraid of certain things and I'm tired of being afraid. I try to push myself out of those moments as much as I can but sometimes I just feel like I can't. When in reality I need to push harder. I need to stop thinking things are so hard cause yeah maybe they are. Maybe they're beyond my current strength. But how can I get stronger or be better if I don't try?
I need to learn how to have more faith in myself. To trust myself more. I use to think I was this amazing person who could accomplish everything and then anxiety came around and I lost that mindset. I need to find it, work on it and bring it back. Because if you're not hyped about your own projects and idea's how can you expect anyone else to be?
Here's to a productive month full of adventures, new favorites and starting new goals.
It's hard to believe this may be my last trip to Dallas/Fort Worth because the next time I'm in the state I'll be a resident there \o/ I'm happy I was able to get the things I needed to get done in the short amount of time I had this this last time so whew on that. So relieved! And so excited! I'm sad to be leaving Florida; it's been my home for the last 5 years and it's the first place I made a place my home on my own. I've had so many good memories and good times and just usual's here but like I did with Cali as well, all things must come to an end. It's not like I'll never be back, I'll only be a 2 hour flight away! Plus I can't deny that I'm super stoked to start a new adventure... somewhere that's more foodie/Asian food friendly at that!
This is so out of order lol! But the first day I was there; the flight went great. I slept through most of it thankfully. Bubba took me to get Ihop after he picked me up (it wasn't awkward at all seeing each other again, I went straight into constantly hugging him and poking him) and we had breakfast. Then we stopped by a Target to find the TsumTsum Pastel Parade's which weren't at that one we were at but we ended up picking up various other things instead lol! We're such kids it's kind of ridiculous. Also introduced him to my Strawberry Refresher drink that he liked, yay! Went into PetSmart to find Sophie a house and we found some fuzzy ones that we might be able to pull the bottom pillow out of and replace with a scratching pad since she prefers/massively uses those. I'll have to see if I can find a circle one or something. But at least we found something! It might not be seasonally like the box house she had before but it's okay!
I probably should had posted this yesterday or last night but we got home late so naturally I'm posting it today! Still debating on if I should skip a weekly recap post.
So first off Happy Birthday to one of the most amazing, caring, compassionate, sweetest, brutally honest, adorable and frustrating person I know. Thank you for everything you do for Sophie and I. Your care does not go unnoticed. We are both very thankful for you babes. Thank you for caring about me as intensely as you do, for always making sure I'm okay and I'm completely stress free even if you're holding the weight of the world on your shoulders you never fail to put me first. I'm glad you had a good birthday babe, I didn't get to spoil you as much as I wanted to (you should be scared when Christmas rolls by) but I'm still feeling rather accomplished. I love you so much, never forget that! Here's to many more years of frustration, adventures and love.
Yesterday was pretty busy.
The day before babes went to a wedding and came home a bit tipsy with way too much energy and started his birthday off with an epic pillow fight with me (seriously the most random thing ever) then we fell asleep while watching anime. This one particular one always puts me to sleep. It's insane. I'm trying so hard to pay attention and I always end up falling asleep! It's not that it's even boring. I don't know what it is, it's strange how that happens lol.
I feel like I've been away in some other universe for like, a month. At least that what it feels like. But it's been a really really great month.
Started Dating Nick
Yeah, that happened. That's a thing now and I don't mind as much as I thought I would. Yeah divorce sucks and it's something super emotionally heavy but the moment you realize you deserve better and don't back down... there's no turning back from that. What he did? There's no turning back for either. I can not give him an ounce of forgiveness no matter what moment of clarity he randomly had after his whore left. I wasn't expecting to date anyone. That's why I got Sophie. I was gonna move into my own place; just me and Sophie. Then Nick comes along and just messes all of that up.
Our first date lasted about 10 hours and we had lunch at Rainforest Cafe (with a real thunderstorm) and we were walking by Basin on our way to World of Disney sharing an umbrella and he goes "I really want to kiss you right now." and I was like "go for it." so he kisses me and it's like instant boost of attraction I just couldn't get enough of his kisses! We ended the date at Universal City Walk and I got Cinnabon!! Seriously, dreams. Came. True. Spent the rest of the week with Nick as much as possible. He lives an hour away so it's sort of a long distance relationship. Sort of. I don't have a car. So...
Sophie
Sophie is doing a lot better now than when we got her. She loves to play and cuddle and bother you lol. She's always crawling all over my lap and smacking me with her tail. Silly girl. But she's gaining weight and she looks a lot healthier now. So that's good and she loves playing this chasing game we do at night. She's so silly. But she's my adorable silly!
Adventures
Nick and I have this thing where we like to go on adventures. Basically any random place we go to even if we've been there before is considered an adventure. A trip to a new organic grocery store is an adventure and I love how down he is to just be like "yeah okay, let's go!" or when he suggests stuff we should do. So it's been pretty fun and exciting being around him cause you never know where he's going to go. But I've started compiling a list of places we should go or places we should check out to eat. So I'm pretty excited to finally have an adventure/foodie partner!
Like I said, I feel like I've been gone for awhile so sorry if this post sounded a little scatterbrained.
What are some of your favorite places to adventure to?
I kind of have this thing where I love Leap Year.
It always reminds me that life can tend to be messy, hectic and not go your way. And sometimes you need to just close your eyes, spin until you land in a direction and leap. I personally think that jumping not just into situations that scare you but doing things that make you think this is crazy is what really makes you get to know yourself better. Challenge yourself, reward yourself, trust yourself. Sure, maybe the path you picked will lead you into a dead end. Maybe it'll test you. Maybe it will be the best thing that's ever happened to you.
So what am I leaping for this year?
I've already made the switch to another school that honestly sort of scares me because of how focused it is on art and how serious it is about making your dreams come true. It's a little intimidating! Other than that, diving head first back into my business as well as into my blogs and working on content for my channels. But those are things I would had done regardless.
So what is something I'm going to take blind faith in? What scares me?
Traveling alone.
And it is something I'm going to have to deal with some time this year and yes it does scare me no matter how many times people say I'll be fine. Still, never traveling by yourself then having to... it's scary. Especially when it's across the country with a lay over. I hate lay over's as it is!
Divorce.
Which I know is something that is already in the works (okay, crazy that all of these things are happening this year and I wasn't even aware it was a Leap Year until like a week or two ago) but it's still scary because you're leaving your "comfort zone" or your "comfort person" rather.
And before I go, I just want to mention that today marks Flixie's 8th death anniversary (I think it's 8th) and I still miss him so much every time my anxiety gets really really bad. So I hope you're doing well, wherever you are and I'm still thinking of you fuzzy butt.
Flixie kisses • summer 2007
What are you going to take a leap for this year?
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I know, we're four days into the new year and it's taken me this long to write this post. I'm usually more prompt. So starting the year off wrong right here. Actually a lot of what's been happening so far within these four days of the new year haven't really been the usual. And I don't really mind it. Sort of.
So I participated in #onelittleword last year, my word being [ happiness ] and you can check that out on my old blog (long story, actually no story I just wanted to change my name) and I was thinking of doing a reflection post on it so many I'll save my thoughts and wrap up of 2014 for that particular post.
This year as you can see my word is [ rediscover ] and with the year I have ahead of me, it's going to be a complicated and fun and scary word to live this entire year. But it's something I've been putting off in one way or another. I've lost touch with who I am. To myself. I've lost touch with how I view myself and that's dangerous. When you start basing how YOU see YOURSELF on how SOMEONE ELSE sees YOU, it's not a good thing. I've learned to never put that power in someone else's hands ever again. Because truth is, they don't deserve it and no one but is worthy of that power.
I'm going to go through some really really cliff diving changes in the next few months. Some of which are already in progress and some that I'm --- not gonna lie --- dancing around because I'm unsure about things but then I'm also sure. If that makes sense.
So here's to 2015 and all of the things I'll be forced to endure, struggle with, come to terms with, experience and hopefully I fall in love with life again. I'm really optimistic about this word and my goal and I can't wait to see where I am and how I feel at the end of this year.
It's gonna be crazy guys.
This passed week has been.... incredible! I didn't know it at the time but it would end up being my most important week of the year.
On Tuesday I had a hair appointment. I was suppose to get a red to purple ombre but after looking it up on Pinterest I decided on something else --- a deep wine color with blond peek a boo highlights. You can see the second picture on the bottom row, that's pretty much what I got. You can also see my amazing hair stylist Hannah who spent the whole FOUR HOURS talking with me. I had SUCH a blast!
The next day I attended my first ever Yelp Elite event. Which is crazy because I've been a Yelp Elite since 2011. I was super excited because this was in a museum and there was an entire room dedicated to dinosaurs. Yes, I geeked out. We got there early so we were able to snag a lot of good food and drinks and swag before everyone else came in and it became too crowded to even walk. I had so much fun! In the second picture on the top row is a picture of me and Colleen, the wonderful lady who invited me to Yelp Elite when I moved to Orlando the first time in 2011. She was such a pleasure to finally meet! Also on the bottom left, I got my first Henna Tattoo!! I've always thought about getting one when I'm in Vegas but I never do. I love the design the artist picked, especially the detail that goes down my middle finger, that part is my favorite haha. Then the top left is me laying on one of those half ball work out things trying to crack my lower back. My hair was touching the floor and I didn't even care. I wasn't anxious, I wasn't freaking out, I wasn't thinking of anything. I was so surprised (because of my OCD there is A LOT I have avoided in the last ten years) I took a picture to remember that moment. Where my hair laid crazy on the floor and I'm happy as can be. I can't even put into words what that was like!
I started a project I've always wanted to do --- fairy lights! You take tulle and tie it between bulbs and fluff it up. It looks really cool on the tree. And the lights aren't so boring. Now I want to turn all the lights we have into fairy lights lol! I did white sparkly tulle and a small strip of gold since the colors this year are white and gold. Which is actually hard to find! I kept finding silver and picking up silver! The heck! WHERE'S THE WHITE. LIKE YOU KNOW, SNOW?!
That weekend was my first WV RTE event and I was NERVOUS. Seriously. I didn't know what to expect but everyone we ran into was sweet and helpful. It was a 9 hour event and my mentor is always pushing me to go and now I see why. It was inspiring, eye opening, it gave me hope that I can do this. Not that I ever really doubted myself but sometimes when weeks, months, don't go your way, you start to get a little hopeless. But everyone who was honored that day gave the same advice never ever quit. The best is yet to come! And I would never think about quitting. Regardless of my status in this company one thing is for sure --- it has changed my life. The positivity, the people I get to work with, what we do... I have this amazing thing in front of me that I can grab a hold of and have the life I've always DREAMED of. I am so lucky to come across something like this. It's what I've been waiting for. Another girl had said If you ask for something, trust the process. And that's something a lot of people say trust the process. And with work like this, or with anything that is in your own hands you HAVE to trust the process. It'll bring you to where you need to be or want to go. Just keep the trust.
This passed week has been amazing and it makes me want to go out and do more things I haven't done. I'm trying to step outside of my comfort zone but it's hard to tell what is and isn't in my comfort zone. What scares me? What would challenge me? What do I want to try, accomplish or succeed at? What's something I want to learn? Somewhere I want to visit. Something I want to do?
I don't know about you, but I'm very excited to see what 2015 will bring! It can't be worse than 2014!
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